Pages

The Gift of Listening.



Why is it that way? The way you seek conversations that have substance. The conversation that goes beyond the 3-second ‘hello how are you’. You aren’t after how someone is in that small moment. Rather, you are after how they are and have been doing. How they are keeping, coping, working… how is that person that bothered them at work? Was something done about it? Have they improved? How are they feeling about it?

Some people can’t think of anything worse than being on the receiving end of a bunch of interesting-less words brought together by someone they don’t define as a close friend. But you. You are different. Beautifully different. Rare.

You have an incredible memory. And you have a meticulous eye for detail. What you do, is pay attention. Someone shows you a picture of  a dress they want to buy to a wear to a wedding, and you notice the slight similarity to a dress they wore to a 21st four years ago. Your brother asks you to read over his presentation and a 2-minute read over has turned into an hour of touches here and there. Again, it comes down to how you pay attention.

But, when you are told a story or when you are engaged in a conversation, something special happens as you pay attention. Your eyes widen. Your ears get comfortable. Your breathing slows. You listen. You absorb the conversation in every way you can. You don’t force this, it just happens. Your genes are a fusion of Alice-in-wonderland-meets-Limitless.

Sometimes you don’t want to process every sentence coming your way when someone speaks. Sometimes the story is as long winded as a 3-day hurricane. Nope. But you still do. There you go, weathering the storm. Also, sometimes the content of a story is negative, and you don’t want to mentally sift through it. But there the words go, like a moth to a light, they flutter through your ears and sit gently on your cerebral matter. Those words, sentences and stories... they can sit in your mind for hours. Days. Years even. Every now and then the moth-like sentence or story flickers its wings to get comfortable, bringing your attention to that thought again.

It’s an incredibly powerful thing. To remember the details. You can remember the story, the person's face telling the story, their downturned lips, and that without them realising it, you notice that sharing this story made them angry, sad, confused even. You may not see this person, the storyteller, for a few weeks. But when you do cross paths again you give the mundane 3-second ‘how are you’ a skip and rather branch out to the ‘have things improved with that new boss that started not long after you?”.

An incredible memory paired with an eye to detail is a fierce combination. Not because of what it can do for you, but rather what it can do for others.  That's where the importance lies. Here’s why.

You know that saying that ‘people will forget what you said, but never forget how you made them feel’. Well, that saying resonates with you. Because you, as a person, feel and you feel deeply. You know the sentiment of when someone truly listens to you. It’s a special feeling that you truly value. And because you know how it makes you feel, you have the ability and personal drive to give that feeling to someone else, to other people.

When you cross paths with someone, you aren’t after making people feel a love, happiness or excitement they have never felt before. That job may be up to someone else. But your job, for a brief moment, a minute  or maybe sometimes just for an hour, you are after making them feel worthy. You are after making them feel valuable. And you may not know or realize this, but you do this by simply paying attention to them...

and listening.

The gift of listening.
The gift of listening.



JHBeats

JHBeats is a 25 year old girl from Johannesburg, South Africa, who has a passion for chasing endorphin's found in healthy and happy living.

1 comment:

  1. It was such an intimate moment and you could really feel the love and energy in the place. Our ceremony at DC wedding venues was the most beautiful and romantic ceremony I could have ever expected (and all our guests made sure to tell us they felt the same way once it was over!).

    ReplyDelete