Your Light is Just Perfect.

When the words leave that person’s mouth, they come at you like a load of knives. They don’t know this, though. They don’t know the damage they doing, over and over again. Word by word, argument by argument… slowly digging deeper into your soul and self-belief, sometimes as far as your self-worth.

You just want to please him/her. Make them happy. Have their validation. When you were little you made something for them. Accepting it with a crooked smile, they slowly slide it into an infrequently opened drawer. You question why it’s being put away, but they smiled. And that counts as something? Right?

When you were 16 you asked if your new dress looked ok for your first date. They sat in silence, scanning every inch of your body. They didn’t flinch until they offer their honest opinion:
 ‘mmm, it’s a bit short. You don’t want to look like a tart, do you?’.
No. You go and change.

You are now 21, and that dress sits longingly in your cupboard, awaiting its debut. But no, it’s not appropriate. But wait, is it really not?

At 25 years old you are officially deep in the obsessive comparison game with your fellow 25-ers. But, when it counts, and you want to share something exciting. A new idea. A venture. A promotion. A new person of interest… you find yourself actually questioning sharing it. Not because you want to keep it a secret, but because you are afraid what you say or do isn’t well, good enough. How is it that in your 20’s you have started to feel less than good? Not really competent for what the world expects of you. Nobody has ever said, ‘’hey you, did you know you are shit at doing this...’’ so where does this mentality of ‘’nothing I do is good enough” come from? 

You are who you surround yourself with. If a fish observes and lives by a shark’s rules and expectations, the fish will learn to swim, attack, observe and prey on the weak. And because the fish has observed the shark react positively or negatively to certain stimuli, the fish learns what stimuli to avoid replicating, and what stimuli will practice, to keep the shark happy.

This is not much different to how you observe and learn things. As you grow up, you observe a group of people’s rule, or you observe a single person’s rules and expectations, and you learn what receives their validation and what doesn’t. If you have ever been labelled a perfectionist or an over-achiever, or just an achiever of high standards (for example) in work, keeping up appearances, having a certain style, fitness, keeping your partner happy? Have you ever thought to yourself why? Why are you trying your absolute hardest to do something better than what would constitute as ok, good, suitable…

When you are given messages as an infant, they are engrained into a mental book of rules for the rest of your life. At 5 years old, 17 years old, 25 years old. You try your darn hardest, that maybe, THIS time, these people or this person will approve of you, validate you or compliment you. But unfortunately, as years add up you find yourself not receiving what your soul is dehydrated of.
How is it ok for your true self, to be constantly tied to the belief that you, what you do or say, is never good enough. It’s not.

To you, reading this, do yourself a favour. Look in the mirror and say this. ‘’you are enough.’’
In fact, say this:

“What you do, say, look like, feel like… in this moment, is just perfect”.

Don’t let certain people dictate your true worth. Please. During any moment of being proud, confident, excited, there is a little candlelight, flickering ever so softly in your soul. Find that light. Find it now. When you are proud, confident, excited and passionate about something and don’t want to speak up out of the fear of not being validated, find and focus on that light. Worship it. Love it. Smile at it. Share it. Give it the credit it deserves.

All you have is you. Look after yourself. Look after that little light that shines within you. Nobody can dim it. Your friends, partner, family, colleagues even, can attempt to blow it out on countless occasions. So, protect it. Protect it well. It’s yours. Don’t ever for one moment, think your light is not enough.

My dear, that light, in this moment and for the rest of time… is just perfect. 

Blog post: Your Light is Just Perfect.
Your Light is Perfect.


JHBeats is a 25 year old girl from Johannesburg, South Africa, who has a passion for chasing endorphin's found in healthy and happy living.

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