JHBeats

Have you noticed how some people are better at receiving certain information and talking about certain things compared to others ? Think about it, have you ever brought up the exact same topic with 2 different people, and received very different responses?

Not in the sense of ‘what are your thoughts on the president?”. No.

Its more in the sense of ‘’a colleague did something today that made me feel uncomfortable…”.

For example:

You say to Person 1, “she made me feel quite uncomfortable… like I was below her…”.                            

Their response is: “Well has it happened before? Is she like that with other people?”

VS.

You say to Person 2.  “she made me feel quite uncomfortable… like I was below her…”.                             

Their response is: “I think you are being a bit petty… don’t dwell on it..”

The difference between the 2 responses, is not what the other person says. It’s what their response does to you. Your emotions. Your internal conversation.

The 2 response could create a stir of anger within you because you feel like it is possible that you are being too sensitive. You then become anxious because for a moment, you have received criticism of fault. You are being criticized for bringing up a topic that troubles you.

The 1^st Response 1 could create the feeling of being heard because you feel the person may understand where you are coming from, or they have the genuine intention to provide an opinion of assistance. You become relaxed in this conversation because you have received an ear, a platform open to discussion that may help you find a solution.

But, depending on the person speaking their thoughts, response 2 could provide the confirmation you are after, and response 1 could possibly annoy you because you don’t  want to get into a lengthy discussion.

Whichever response better suits you, is what suits you. But, what I’m getting at is this:

Take note of which people in your life receive the information you share in certain ways. And by certain ways, I mean:

No topic of conversation is silly, if it is heard by a fellow fool.

No topic of conversation cannot be discussed, if it is conversed by a person who is open to helping, understanding, or respecting your thoughts. 

Be aware of which people make you feel normal and calm when they receive your topic of discussion. Someone who provides a good ear around your work stories, may not be the best ear for your relationship questions. Some people are very good at listening to and talking about certain things that others struggle with. The more time you spend with these people will give you the ability to assess who will support the topics, interests and feelings you have to discuss.

You may not be someone who experiences anxiety on a day to day basis, but when you need to speak to someone about something and their interest, knowledge or time doesn’t align with yours, you may start experiencing feelings of anxiousness and believing your voice doesn’t count.

Be very careful and very selective of where you ask for guidance, help, or just a chat, and about what topics. You cannot go through life thinking everything you have to say, experience or feel, is unworthy of being heard. Believe me, every breath you take, is worthy of being heard.

You just have to find the right receiver.