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When priorities and efforts differ.





When you were little you did things with substantial positive intention. Despite your arts and crafts project looking like a trivial catastrophe made up of dead leaves, sand and Koki pen, to you, it was a masterpiece. You put so much thought and care into this beautiful jumble of bits and bobs, that when it was ready to be recycled, you felt sad, and somewhat upset because you could not understand why it wasn’t as important to the person throwing it away, as it was to you.

When you were a teenager, this all-or-nothing intention still remained. Your passion for hockey or dancing rivalled a professional. Your practices, matches, early morning training, rehearsals, costume trial runs started out amazingly, but as you noticed a few people not showing up on time, not waking up early, not wearing their costume… you started to get angry and resentful towards the hobby itself because you could not understand why some people could not bring their 110% to the table like you did.

As a young adult, you are trying to find your feet in the workplace, or even contemplating whether a final year of studies is worth it. Wherever you are, the tasks that are placed in front of you: a thesis, a marketing strategy, a design brief, an even coordinator, a forex trader… they are all done with absolute intention. And by absolute intention, I refer to the 110% energy, the utmost care, the attention to detail, and the ‘I can do something remarkably with what you are giving me’. Why do you do this? Because you admirably care about doing things well. You care about doing it brilliantly even. You just want to show the people around you, you are capable of beauty, you are capable of commitment, you are capable of brilliant work.

Your work, your relationships, your side hobbies and passions… they all have your absolute intention. Yet, how is it possible, that pouring your everything into something yields an emotion and feeling of resentment towards it. How is it possible, to care about something so much, that you eventually start to despise it, avoid it, and event develop anger towards it?

Because the level of effort you put in, compared to the level of reciprocation you receive out, is 100 to 0.

You can try as hard as you want with your boyfriend, school friend, roommate, sibling, work colleague, boss, sports team… and you can try over, and over, and over again to impress them, to show them you adore them, show them you did good, show them you outperformed your competitor, show them incredible and quality work… but you will always end up being deflated, empty, demotivated and angry. Why? Because they care about it, just a little, if not a lot, less than you.
It is a sad reality, unfortunately. But it is a reality nonetheless. What is important to you, may not be important to someone else. What you put into something won’t be what someone else puts into it. Purely because this something, is not a priority in their life or lives.

You can create something incredible, present something ground-breaking, open your heart entirely and express your raw and pure love for someone… but if what you are doing, saying, showing, creating… is not as important (or a priority) to the person you are directing it towards, you will open yourself up to disappointment, sadness, insecurity, anger, confusion and even resentment.

It may be a matter of that person simply being ok and very content with mediocre, with average or with ‘simply get it done’. And that’s ok. We have to accept that some people in our lives are very much ok with being mediocre.

What we have to ask ourselves are 2 things. 1, are we ok with then, bringing ‘mediocre’ or average work, love, commitment, effort, to the table? Or 2, Are we ok with reducing our expectations?
If you are ok with bringing mediocre to the table, then so be it. But if you aren’t, then you need to be aware that you will have to simply drop your expectations you hold above your boss’s, boyfriends, best friends, colleagues or siblings heads.

It may sound harsh, but it is the only way to bring peace to your absolute-110%-effort soul. What you must remember is that, although there are people who are ok with being, showing, presenting, committing and loving in ‘the average’ caliber. There are also people who are excited, driven, dedicated, inspired and touched by ‘the brilliant’. By the 110% effort. By the passionate love. By the incredible and quality work.  


There are people who care as much as you do. If it’s about the same thing or not, you will still find peace, connection and comfort in their alignment to yours. You just have to be patient and use fractions of that absolute intention to find them. You will know when you find them, because their passion, commitment, importance, care and priorities would have helped them find you.
When priorities and efforts differ.
You will know when you find them, because their priorities would have helped them find you

Jacqui Pougnet

JHBeats is a 25 year old girl from Johannesburg, South Africa, who has a passion for chasing endorphin's found in healthy and happy living.

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