5 things you need to know about backstabbers.

What you need to know about backstabbers.

I want to pinch myself for having to write about this, because heavens above I feel like I am writing to a school principal. The sadness is, what I am about to discuss, is something I thought ceased in primary school, or even during the I-like-this-boy-you-cant-like-him years at the tender age of 15.
But, here I am, at 26, allowing words to sprawl across this white screen, ready to describe a ridiculous but still so real occurrence, 'back stabbing'.

Yes, the word is rather aggressive, and somewhat gruesome. I mean, the latter part of the phrase is enough to make anyone shudder with fear. But, just as spine tingling as the thought of the verb part of the phrase, so is the outcome of the sly, silent and sickening behavior displayed by very often, unsuspecting individuals.

Your best friend may be well aware that you think Tom is attractive, and that hey, you actually just might like him a little, maybe a lot. A weekend or two later, you stumble across your best friend chatting to Tom at a bar, and think well, this innocent stuff is harmless. She promises you she was putting in a good word for you. Until you stumble out of the bathroom the same night and notice your best friend, well, allowing her lips to put in a good word or two, against Toms.

Your sports teammate knows how badly you want to play in the championships, and is endlessly supporting you at your events, encouraging you to hit the ball harder, run a little faster, because they know you are brilliant at that game. In front of you, they adore you. They tell you you are amazing, and they tell you you will go far. Until you leave a practice session, and off they go, letting their thoughts roll into malicious and 'concerned' words, into the minds of the coach. You aren't really that amazing, and you really can't go that far.

Your colleague knows you are relatively new to your job and you want to impress anyone you may or may not work with. He or she has noticed a small collection of invisible balloons with 'thank yous' and 'good work's' floating around you. Hey, they may have blown a few up themselves too. In team meetings, they rave about you, and in emails, they give you 'stars' for your work. Until you notice a few more meetings happening around you, except you somehow, are not invited. Smiles at you start to depart, bubbly hellos in the corridor are outweighed by awkward silences, simply because behind the closed doors, the negative words of your colleague are swarming the heads of those in authority like concerned little bees.

Backstabbing, is, and always has been, and sadly will continue to be a sad but true reality. The definition of it refers to an action of someone criticizing someone else in a deceitful manner, despite putting on a pretense of having a positive relationship with them.

How strange, you may think, that someone has the absolute intent on poisoning anthers reputation so that theirs simply glows.

I have yet to learn how to fully retaliate, or react rather, to someone who has opted to diminish my true colors for their benefit, but I have acknowledged this, and I wish to share this with you.

Should you feel or believe that someone is hurting you, without you even knowing it, know this:

1. When someone degrades you behind your back, it is not a true reflection of you, but rather of them. Normal people do not go around constantly pulling others down.

2. You can choose to 'revenge' on them, and back-stab in return, but then you are acting just like them, and you certainly don't want to absorb any part of their character.

3. They are profoundly envious people.

4. People tend to behave like this as a way of gaining an upper hand, or a little bit more power over you. For whatever reason this may be, recognize that exactly for what it is, they want more power, which means at that current moment, they don't have a lot. They see true value in you, and are afraid of your growth or influence (whatever the circumstance), so they use childlike manners to sway the minds of those who do have authority to determine the direction of your growth or influence.

5. You cannot change them, unfortunately. All you can do is change your reaction and remain true to yourself.

When people support, compliment, or award you in front of others, only to degrade or insult you when you are not around, are not authentic, reliable and positive individuals. Everything they say, and their manner of saying it, is a reflection of them, and not you.

Act true to you, at all times, in front of all people, and I promise you, their inflated sense of self... their unreliable character will become known, and your true, authentic and valuable one, will simply glow.

5 things you need to know about backstabbers.
5 things you need to know about backstabbers.


JHBeats is a 25 year old girl from Johannesburg, South Africa, who has a passion for chasing endorphin's found in healthy and happy living.

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