Celebrating a non-celebratory day.

Have you ever sat at a table with a group of friends as they celebrate and sing Happy Birthday to someone you don’t really know? Yup. You’ve experienced it. You just float there with a half-smile on your face kind of singing but not really… You are joining in because everyone else is, but because you do not have something that ties you to this person directly and celebratory event, you sit there silently, a little happy for them, and a little bit awkward.

Have you ever stood in a room with your best friend and their partner as they begin conversing like you aren’t there? They begin touching each other’s waists and playing with their hair… Cute names and private jokes get blown up like weightless balloons and sent across to each other like cupids arrow until the room is filled with so many balloons of awkwardness and somewhat discomfort you cant really see what is going on around you. We all know this feeling all too well.
You just stand there in an awkward silence.

What about celebrating a day that doesn’t really seem to be one to celebrate, to you.  
#HappySiblingsDay  #Happy80thBirthday   #HappyMothersDay  #HappyChristmas   #HappyValentinesDay   #Happy1YearAnniversary

Valentine’s Day is a day where love is celebrated, and you celebrate your love for someone else, and they, you. #SiblingsDay is a day here hugs and kisses are shared between brothers and sisters and #MothersDay is where all of the attention is directed towards mothers and guardians alike.
But what if, you are single on Valentines Day, or you are an only child on SiblingsDay, or your relationship with your mother is fragmented beyond repair on Mothers Day… what are you meant to celebrate?

You see, I am not writing this to make people who are in relationships, have siblings, are of a type of religion, have amazing relationships with their parents feel guilty. Absolutely, not. I am writing this to bring attention to the lack of concern we as people have, for those thousands of others who do not or cannot celebrate what you can, be it by choice, culture, religion or circumstantial.

Social media has enabled people the power to showcase the Have’s, and thus the have nots. Your new job, partner, engagement ring, birthday, grocery list and choice of baby clothes, are all shared online. Why? To show the world your haves. But what a lot of people need to be aware of, is that by sharing your haves with the world, you are also reminding the have not’s of what they don’t have. And, believe it or not, this can result in tremendous feelings of sadness, loneliness, frustration, confusion and sometimes hurt.

That awkward ‘Birthday-song-but-you-don’t-know-the-persons-whos-birthday-it-is’ scenario and that standing on the side line of romantic conversation between 2, are very much like the ‘celebrating something others don’t’ scenario. The discomfort that is felt about something that you may not have when something so heavily emphasised by others, can be soul destroying because you are constantly reminded, ‘hey, this is not you’. ‘This thing we are celebrating… this is not you’.

To the people reading this who have all the reasons and resources to celebrate certain events, by all means, absolutely celebrate. But do so with integrity, love and consideration.

To the people reading this, who have had to endure Valentines Day being single, siblings day being an only child, Mothers Day not having spoken to your mom for 10 years… know this:

You are unconditionally incredible. You have an internal strength that not many do, a sense of independence that can be envied by others and an amount of self-happiness that you can rely on when times get tough and your tank seems empty. You are amazing. You are perfect and you are enough.

You don’t need to celebrate every celebratory day. In fact, if you don’t want to celebrate any celebratory day, you certainly don’t have to. Celebrate Friday. Monday. Lunch time. Celebrate your 10km runs. Celebrate a month without smoking. Celebrate your first public speech. Celebrate standing up for yourself. Celebrate your education, your love for unicorns, your tattoos and your scars. Celebrate your story right up until today. 

When others are busy celebrating something that reminds you of emotions that fill you up with hurt, anxiety or discomfort, take a small moment to yourself 
and take a deep breath 
and celebrate you. 

Celebrating a non-celebratory day.
Celebrating a non-celebratory day.


JHBeats is a 25 year old girl from Johannesburg, South Africa, who has a passion for chasing endorphin's found in healthy and happy living.

No comments:

Post a Comment