Abandoned Series by Nina Zimolong.
Titled “I sit here, and I wait” by Jacqui Pougnet

Being abandoned could also be felt as being let free.  

It still doesn’t feel real, 
the day you sauntered out of the door.
I sit here, and I wait,
for the pain to not hurt any more.

I don’t want to see the sun,
I don’t want to consider the time,
I sit here, and I wait,
Cementing a curl in my spine.

The marks on my shoulders,
have transformed from violet to blue.
I sit here, and I wait,
thinking what it must be like to be you.

As I do that, my head descends to a safe place.
I sit here, and I wait,
for the tears to begin stopping,
and start drying from my face.

And while I feel safe here,
watching time move slowly past.
I sit here, and I wait,
and reminisce over what you had asked.

“Will you be sad if I leave?” is what you’d recurrently say.
I sit here, and I wait,
With that sickening statement
stuck on replay.

Would I be sad if you left me?
As if I’d articulated joy when you were here.
I sit here, and I wait,
for a normal day that is near.

A day where the sun touches my skin and dissolves my pain.
I sit, and I wait,
for the hours of feeling whole again.

When I said it doesn’t feel real, the day you walked out of the door.
I meant I felt that day would never come, 
Where I wouldn’t have to see you anymore. 

That day is here, in fact it’s been for some time you see,
I sit here, no longer waiting, 
for your claws to let me free.

"The Meraki Collection"
Photography by Nina Zimolong |
Words: @JaxPougnet |


JHBeats is a 25 year old girl from Johannesburg, South Africa, who has a passion for chasing endorphin's found in healthy and happy living.

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