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The secret to dealing with a quarter-life crisis.




On my 25th birthday, I am not even kidding, I felt something pivotal shift within me. Gone was the moment of celebrating another year, and in place sat an overweight little moody monster that kept questioning everything I have, do, say, love, work for, want... you name it. I was questioning it all.

Am I an adult? Or do I still get to behave like an 18 year old? Do I love my job? No I don't but I am going to stick it out. Do I want to move in alone or with someone? No, wait, maybe I should travel... I haven't travelled enough... do I even really want to live in this country...

Now, the funny thing is, from the day we are born a path is created for us. We get sent to school, waved goodbye to in high school, flown away to a University until we graduate and then, come 22 or 23, we feel a little shove from behind us as we step into the working world.

Give or take 2 or 3 years from there, we have the time to figure ourselves out. And in doing all this figuring out, we quite often find that everything we were guided towards as young adults, or everything we were told to work towards or be with who sounds good to be with, or be friends with people it is comfortable to be with... becomes a question.

As one starts questioning their career, their relationship, their debt, their friends, their travels, their career experience, their next step, their next relationship step, their hopes, their dreams - something quite destructive happens.

Due to the conditioning of one's environment of how things should be growing up, and starting to truly reflect on them as we do grow up, we find ourselves feeling guilty for questioning things that once made our world go around. We feel guilty for questioning our degrees, our friends who were once there for us, our partner who has been so committed to us, our work who pays us...

Yes, between 22 and 26 a whole bunch of reflecting occurs and while our feet are not always on the ground - we find ourselves ridden with self-guilt, because 'why aren't we happy with something that once made me happy' or 'why is my work/relationship/identity/living situation make me feel trapped?'

A quarter life crisis is what we read about when it comes to 'questioning everything in your twenties'.
And just as much as we read all about this topic, we find ourselves making rash decisions that we somehow feel will help us get out of this bubble quickly.

We quit our jobs, we get a tattoo, we cut our hair, we sell our belongings to travel, we end relationships, explore our environment, drop old hobbies, pick up new ones...

Anything that promises a 'quick fix' is unlikely true. Nothing can be can be result in a long-term sustainable difference with something that took 2 minutes to change. What I am getting at is helping one think about if the grass is really greener on the other side.

By all means, make the move, change it up, quit your job, move in on your own, end a relationship - but only if you know that in the next 365 days, the result of it still serves you the same emotion and satisfaction you felt when you decided to make the change.

Don't be afraid to speak to someone (who is the same age or a little older) about these 'million questions about what I am doing in this life itself'. These thoughts are absolutely normal. They are pivotal in life's' little path for you because they signal a shift in your personal thinking, your growth, your passions, your choices, your wants and needs...

I'm not quite there yet but I am working on it. Everyday. I know I will get to that 'best' point in all of the questions I have. And to be honest, this makes me excited now rather than feeling guilty. I truly wish the same for you because feeling guilty is a too destructive for your soul. Stop demolishing it. Start building it.

Yes, the million questions you have about everything may not be the most positive experience but they are an experience nonetheless. An experience that very slowly promises to reveal the best possible path, people, career, passions, relationships, hobbies and self possible.



 The secret to dealing with a quarter-life crisis.

The secret to dealing with a quarter-life crisis.





JHBeats

JHBeats is a 25 year old girl from Johannesburg, South Africa, who has a passion for chasing endorphin's found in healthy and happy living.

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